You can be around people and still be lonely.
You can rejoice in quiet alone time and still crave company.
You can be in company and still feel like your social needs aren’t being met.
As you ascend in your career finding friends who just “get” you becomes harder.
Executives often tell me that they struggle to socialize and find friends that aren’t extended work colleagues.
It isn’t just middle schoolers and high schoolers who find it hard to make friends, the older you are the tougher it gets. The more senior you are the more painful it is.
Which is why holding on to those friends who you hold dear to your heart is so important. Especially after three years of jarring lockdowns that shook up any rituals, hangouts, and routine socializing.
Auto-piloting your Social life is one of the most rewarding pieces of advice I can share that really works.
Add social connections to your work trips. - Arrive on work trips a day early and either take some personal space time or let those you have had a past connection with know that you are arriving early and suggest a pre event dinner or coffee. This works well for those you previously have worked with or those who live in the city you are visiting. (LinkedIn is great for location searching your connections)
First Monday of the month dinner dates with your friends - I started this with a dear group of friends in Seattle eight years ago and even though several of us have moved cities, we still gather for vacations, dinners, and have had a continuous text chat that kept us all going through job moves, personal challenges, and the last three years!
Reinstate those weekends away. - I’m just back from four days in Palm Springs with some close friends and it was pure bliss! In my first book Thoughtfully Ruthless I outline how every executive needs a Sensibly Selfish Charter where you commit to yourself your me time, couple time, family time, friends time, and pampering time. Many executives I work with have told me how they need to bring back these habits and routines.
To spend time with friends who energize you and inspire you sometimes you have to let go of those around you who don’t hold you up and support you. It’s why I dedicated a whole chapter in Thoughtfully Ruthless called “Divorce Your Friends” - it might sound brutal but some of you will be nodding right now about those you need to spend less time with or no time with.
Enjoy your reconnections with friends! It’s worth it.
Dedicated to growing your business,
Val
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